Training for teenagers and parents “The path of understanding and trust”

author: Sagaiduk Alesya Vladimirovna

teacher-psychologist Municipal budgetary educational institution of the Kuibyshev region “Secondary school No. 6”

Training for teenagers and parents

"The path of understanding and trust"

Purpose of the training:

- promote the establishment and development of partnerships and cooperation between the parent and the child.

Tasks:

— create conditions in a practical lesson for interaction and cooperation between children and parents in gaming situations;

— contribute to expanding understanding of the psychological characteristics of the child;

— enhance effective communication within the family;

- improve emotional contact and interaction between parent and child;

— help parents understand the causes of negative behavioral manifestations in the child (rudeness, uncontrolled behavior, aggressiveness, intolerance to criticism);

The training is designed for parents and teenagers aged 10-14 years.

Group of participants 14-16 people.

Logistics:

chairs according to the number of group members, paper, pencils, a box (box with a slot) for answer sheets, paints, felt-tip pens, a ball of yarn, sheets of A4 paper, sets of colored pencils according to the number of pairs, tape or buttons for attaching drawings, a tape recorder and a cassette with recording of calm music, tables according to the number of parent-child pairs.

Expected results:

Upon completion of the lesson, parents begin to perceive their child more positively and are more willing to overcome their educational stereotypes. Emotional openness increases. Emotional disturbances in children (increased shyness, fear of failure, etc.) are easier to overcome.

Psychologist: Dear children and parents, I am very glad to see you all here, I think that our meeting today will be interesting and unusual in the form of a training that I called “The Path of Understanding and Trust.” I hope that today, thanks to my and your efforts, you will become a little closer to each other, you will begin to understand and trust each other even better. And to begin with, since perhaps not everyone knows each other well yet, I suggest you stand in two circles (outer and inner), facing each other.

Exercise "Deer"

“Have you ever seen how deer say hello? Want to know how they do it? It’s a whole ritual: you rub your right ear against your partner’s right ear, then your left ear against your partner’s left ear, and at the end of the greeting you need to stomp your feet!” After performing this ritual, the outer circle moves to one person and the ceremony is repeated. The movement continues until all participants “greet” each other like deer and take their starting position.

Let's take our places, sit down on the chairs.

In order for our meeting to be interesting and effective, we need to accept the rules of work, I invite each participant to express their attitude to the rules: if you agree with the rule being adopted, put your thumb up; if you disagree, put your finger down and tell us what you think , this rule does not apply to you or the group.

Sample list of rules:

Take care of the confidentiality of group life.

Activity. Try to participate in all exercises. 3. Only one person can speak during class. Don't interrupt! Respect each other! You can only talk in a circle, you cannot whisper with your neighbor.4. Raised hand rule. We don’t shout, if you really want to say something, raise your hands.5. We only discuss what is happening here and now.
You can only tell other people, even loved ones, about what you yourself did or felt during the training. You cannot talk about how other group members behaved or what they said.
Stop rule. If you are not ready to discuss this topic, then you can skip the move.

Exercise – warm-up “Pencils”
Time: 7 min

The essence of the exercise is to hold pencils or pens, closed with caps, sandwiched between the fingers of participants standing next to each other.

First, the participants perform a preparatory task: having split into pairs, they sit opposite each other at a distance of 70–90 cm and try to hold two pencils by pressing their ends with the pads of their index fingers.

The task is given: without releasing the pencils, move your hands up and down, back and forth.

After completing the preparatory task, the group stands in a free circle (the distance between neighbors is 50–60 cm), pencils are clamped between the pads of the index fingers of the neighbors. The group, without letting go of their pencils, synchronously completes the following tasks:

Raise your arms, lower them, return to the starting position.
Stretch your arms forward, take them back.
Take one step forward, two steps back, one step forward (narrowing and expanding the circle).
Lean forward, backward, straighten up.
Sit down, stand up.

Discussion: - Was it difficult to do this exercise?

— What actions should each participant perform so that the pencils in the circle do not fall? (clear coordination of joint actions based on non-verbal perception of each other. If each participant thinks only about his own actions, then the exercise is practically impossible. It is necessary to build your actions taking into account the movements of the partners.)

— How to establish the mutual understanding necessary for this with others, learn to “feel” another person?

As mentioned earlier, our small lesson is aimed at making you better understand each other, trust each other, and I suggest that parents transform into their children, and children into their parents.

Now you need to split into 2 teams. Parents and children .

Exercise “The ideal parent and the ideal child” (musical accompaniment)
Time: 15 min:

Children, separately from their parents, make a list that characterizes the ideal parent.

Parents, united, make their list of characteristics of an ideal child.

After this, the lists are read out. Participants are asked to discuss whether they are such, what from the list they would like to take first in order to get closer to the image of the “Ideal parent or ideal child.”

Conclusion:

There is no IDEAL in the world, and everyone has shortcomings, but this does not make children stop loving their parents, and parents do not stop loving their children.

The exercise ends with the completed lists breaking up and the parent-child pairs hugging.

Dear parents, how often have you spoken kind words to your children and praised them for their successes? After all, a person, regardless of age, needs affection, attention, praise and, of course, love.

Exercise “Guess who it is?”

- Children, you need to stand in a circle, close your eyes, and the parents take turns approaching you (the children) in a circle.

Your task, children, is to guess your parent. If you decide that this is his parent, he says: “I love you.” If the child is right, the couple leaves. If not, then the parents' movement continues. The exercise continues until all pairs are formed.

Those who wish can share their experiences.

Exercise “Adult – child”.

One of the important skills in active listening

is the ability to step into another person’s shoes. Unfortunately, it happens that parents and children, for various reasons, do not want or do not know how to do this. And here you just need to imagine yourself in the place of another. Probably, each of us wanted to return to childhood, or, conversely, to grow up as quickly as possible. Now you will have this opportunity.

So,

children, you dreamed so much of independence, of freedom of action, of lifting restrictions... now you are adults.

Parents, you are probably tired of everyday life, of the hustle and bustle, of problems, so you want to be a little carefree, easy-going, to realize that your whole life is still ahead of you... Now you are children.

Say what you would do if you were an adult (parent) or a child.

Start your statements with the words: “If I were a parent, then...”, “If I were a child, then...”. We speak in a circle.

Participants share their thoughts.

Exercise "Siamese twins"

The group is divided into pairs. Each pair joins hands so that the left hand of one participant and the right hand of the other participant are free. Each pair is invited to make some kind of craft from sheets of paper (airplane, steamship, etc.). The couple makes the craft only with their free hands.

The conditions for completing the task can be complicated:

complete the task silently,
one participant works with his eyes closed,
both participants work with their eyes closed.

Exercise. “Test Situation.”

One of the practical techniques to improve family relationships and achieve mutual understanding, which can be used in everyday life, is the previously mentioned active listening exercise.

Listening skills -

a skill needed by every person. Parents often misinterpret this term. After all, maintaining silence with difficulty and waiting for your turn to speak in response to your interlocutor’s speech does not at all mean the ability to listen. Moreover, if your interlocutor is a child who jealously defends his point of view, takes a lot of things with hostility and is ready to be offended and withdrawn at any moment.

How and when should you actively listen?

This should be done in all situations when the child is upset, has failed, is in pain, is ashamed - that is, when he has emotional problems.

As an example, consider the following common situation. The son comes home after school, throws his briefcase and shouts: “I won’t go to this school again!”

How to react correctly? What to tell a teenager? How to remain calm, especially if at this moment you yourself are tired, irritated, absorbed in your problems?

Act out this situation (in pairs).

Who wants to show their skit? (2-3 pairs).

Discussion.

To avoid a conflict situation, the parent’s goal should be an uncritical assessment of what is happening; the parent should use the rules of active listening:

Turn to face the teenager. Eyes at the same level.
Avoid questions, use the affirmative form of statements.
Pause, giving the teenager time to think.
Identify the feelings experienced by a teenager.

Exercise "Test with transplants"

Now let’s continue our closer acquaintance, and for this I propose to participate in the next exercise.

I will ask you questions, name various statements, and those who agree with them will have to get up and move to another place.

- Now, those who have pets, please change seats?

— Swap places, those who are interested in drawing?

- Who was born in the city.

- Who drank coffee for breakfast today?

— Swap places, those who love music?

“Now, those whose children are in high school, move over.”

- Those who have a family with many children, change seats.

- Who likes ice cream?

— Who works as a teacher in a school or kindergarten?

- Who regrets that the salary is so small?

- Swap places, those who are waiting - can’t wait for vacation, holidays?

Exercise: The People I Need

We all, to one degree or another, need what other people provide us: certain services, goods, emotional intimacy, exchange of experiences, etc. Sometimes we imagine that we need someone to achieve a goal, but in fact we could do just fine on our own. In other cases, we really need someone, because the relevant “goods” are important to us and we are not able to obtain them on our own, and emotional relationships can only be established between at least two people.

Next exercise “The people I need”

, I would like to use this exercise to give you the opportunity to realize what kind of people you really need. Each of us deals with many people who are important to us to varying degrees. I need some people rarely, some often, and I need only one person all the time: myself.

I have prepared a worksheet for you to fill out. You have 10 minutes to do this. Materials:

Worksheet “The people I need”
Appendix 1
Instructions:
Summarizing:

Was it easy for you to identify six main groups?
Am I getting from people in categories that are important to me what I want from them?
What values does each of the six categories I have chosen correspond to?
How do I cope with situations when there are no people or categories of people that are significant to me?
Can I be alone sometimes?
What is the most important thing I need in life?

Conclusion:

Make sure your teens have a clear understanding of what values each group of people symbolizes to them.

Exercise "Island".

Equipment: two sheets of newspaper, glued with tape.

Instructions: imagine that there has been a shipwreck, and you are the surviving passengers of the ship. In front of you is a small island, literally the size of a newspaper, I’ll put it on the floor now. Very interesting, can you stay on this island?

Note for the leader: at the beginning of the game, the newspaper freely accommodates all participants. After the group has easily positioned itself on the newspaper, the presenter says: “Very good! But there was a flood, and the island shrank - the newspaper folded in half. What will you do now? You can’t tear or move the newspaper.” Then the newspaper is folded into four, etc.

Exercise 6 (5-7 min): “Letter of Love”

Goal: Forming a feeling of closeness, increasing a positive attitude, acquiring resource capabilities.

Divide the participants into 2 teams (parents and children), ask each team to write (or draw) a “Letter of Love” (in the end you get 2 letters: parents to children, children to parents) and ask them to reflect in their letters: feelings, desires, promises.

Letters are read and discussed.

Exercise “Kind animal”

Target

: promote the unity of the children's team, teach children to understand the feelings of others, provide support and empathy.

The presenter says in a quiet, mysterious voice: Please stand in a circle and hold hands. We are one big, kind animal. Let's listen to how it breathes! Now let's breathe together! When you inhale, take a step forward, when you exhale, take a step back. Now, as you inhale, take 2 steps forward, and as you exhale, take 2 steps back. Inhale – 2 steps forward. Exhale – 2 steps back.

This is how the animal not only breathes, its big, kind heart beats just as clearly and evenly. Knock - step forward, knock - step back, etc. We all take the breath and heartbeat of this animal for ourselves.

Reflection (5-7 min):

Purpose: Exchange of opinions, moods and feelings.

— What new did you learn today?

— What was especially difficult to accomplish?

— What were the most important, touching and maybe even funny moments today?

— What is the most important thing, in your opinion, that our meeting brought you?

ANNEX 1

Worksheet: The People I Need

Below you will find a list of different categories of people who are quite significant for the world in which we live. Read this list and please highlight those that are important to you. When you do this, put the categories you have chosen into a sequence, numbering them in descending order of importance and putting the corresponding number in brackets.

(...) Parents (...) Pilots (...) Auto mechanics (...) Bakers (...) Cleaners (...) Doctors (...) Pharmacists (...) Oil workers (...) Shoemakers (...) Salesmen (...) Football players (...) Lawyers (...) Actors (...) Musicians (...) Judges (...) Politicians (...) Priests (...) Grandparents (...) Miners (...) Police officers

(...) Cousins (...) Psychologists (...) Teachers (...) Engineers (...) Guardians (...) Livestock slaughterers (...) Nurses (...) Drivers (...) Criminal investigation officers (...) Hotel staff (...) Scientists (...) Homeless people (...) Social workers (...) Prison employees (...) Kindergarten teachers (...) Restaurant owners (...) Brothers and sisters (...) Other relatives From the sequence compiled, select the six most important categories, write them down here again and indicate what benefits the representatives of these groups provide you with. Describe the consequences you will face if these needs of yours are not met.

………………………………2. ………………………………3. ………………………………4. ………………………………5. ………………………………6. ………………………………

Training for teenagers and parents “The path of understanding and trust”

general information

On the one hand, no one disputes the need to educate the younger generation. At the same time, not every adult (and especially a child) understands how important and valuable training is for children and parents. It so happened that people, understanding the importance of education, do not pay enough attention to the methods and means through which it is implemented. This leads to an undesirable result - studies do not give the same effect, and the child grows up disappointing. Among our contemporaries there are practically no people who regularly read specialized literature created specifically for parents. Such publications make it possible to eliminate the illiteracy of the population in matters of education. Even less often do people attend trainings and seminars, courses where experienced psychologists tell how to better organize interaction between generations.

If you look around, it becomes clear that some people hope that their children’s education will appear as if by itself. This is especially true for those whose children are still very small. When a child reaches school age, it already seems that training for parents of teenagers is useless: it is impossible to manage the child. Neither teachers, nor psychologists, nor the parents themselves know how to behave further. Some are ready to go to extremes, treat the younger generation too strictly, while others completely ignore any child’s pranks, even harmless ones. To minimize the number of cases of this approach, many trainings have been created. Anyone can attend specialized courses where psychologists will help solve family problems.

Features of the organization

It's no secret that there is nothing more valuable than family. In many ways, this institution is the basis for the existence of our civilization. For any child, a role model is the relationship between his parents. If the pedagogical competence and psychological education of the older generation are high enough, the child will probably have a good enough example to build a reliable family on their own in the future. As part of psychological training for parents, the specialist focuses on such goals, and to achieve them uses thoughtful approaches, for which the effectiveness of influencing adults has been proven by practice. First of all, it is necessary to acquaint all participants with what the possible communication styles of generations are, what nuances and features they have, advantages and disadvantages. The psychologist communicates with the training visitors, allowing them to realize how important it is to raise a child responsibly and correctly, develop his psyche and body, and respect his personality. A professional can explain what the main undesirable consequences of not taking the right approach are.

The first and most basic exercise in almost any psychological training for parents is introduction. This practice is aimed at creating a friendly attitude and an atmosphere of mutual assistance. The specialist’s task is to unite the group. When conducting the training, the psychologist focuses on the fact that the group in which the child is located (kindergarten, school) is to some extent akin to a family, which means that all parents attending the group or class of children should know each other. To introduce themselves to others, a psychologist can recommend that participants make a small appliqué from colored paper in 5-10 minutes. All tools must be prepared in advance. To introduce their family, workshop participants say a name, demonstrate creative work, and give a brief introduction to what the family members are like.

When does it all start?

According to the prevailing opinion, psychological training for parents of preschool children is a waste of time, since real difficulties in communication between generations begin only when the child reaches adolescence. If elders cannot cope with a teenager, no one is surprised; those around them just nod their heads sympathetically, admitting that the family is unlucky, they have a difficult child, and nothing can be done about it. As psychologists say, this is actually just a misconception. If parents are not ready for their social role, if they do not know how to interact with their child correctly, there will be problems at any period and age, they are just not always as pronounced as in the case of a teenager. An unprepared parent is more often faced with an insurmountable wall of mistrust between himself and his child. To cope with it, you should resort to the qualified help of a specialist.

Most often, adults come to psychological training for parents who feel that they are behaving incorrectly or are somehow raising their child incorrectly. At the same time, the person himself is not able to assess what exactly he is doing wrong and how the situation can be corrected. There are also those who believe that their children are abnormal, and something urgently needs to be done with them, somehow corrected, so that they grow up as ordinary, normal people. Problems often first appear during pregnancy. Women have become accustomed to the idea that they must be ideal mothers. Many people are frightened by the prospect of not being able to cope with this. There is a certain image, and a person is afraid to break out of it, which also causes psychological discomfort. After the birth of a child, the strength to resist stress and pressure becomes less, at the same time there is not enough time, and the mother finally loses self-confidence. Some go the other way, convinced that any discontent and crying of a child is just an attempt to manipulate elders.

Is it worth it?

You can find many reviews from those who attended psychological trainings for parents organized in various preschool educational institutions. Usually people admit that communication with children has become easier and more productive, and there are fewer problems with parenting. True, this only applies to situations where the parents followed the recommendations of a specialist. There are many known cases where adult training participants left the seminars with the feeling that their opinion was being imposed on them, and they were absolutely sure that the communication option proposed by the specialist was not suitable for them. Of course, such an aggressive perception of information and refusal to follow the proposed behavior patterns does not allow solving the problem that has developed at home.

In general, people who attended psychological trainings for parents at preschool educational institutions believe that these are useful events that help improve the quality of the child’s future and life. At the same time, it is important to responsibly choose the institution organizing the seminars and select a suitable program. It must be remembered that the qualification level of different psychologists does not coincide. And in many ways it depends on him how successfully the specialist will build a dialogue with the audience, how useful the training will be for visitors.

Strict or cruel?

An important aspect of psychological trainings for parents conducted as part of meetings is the opportunity to teach the older generation to behave appropriately with children. Nowadays, it is quite common to see parents being cruel to their children. In some cases, the situation develops according to the worst scenario, assault occurs. To solve this problem, you should visit a psychologist who can explain how you can raise a child correctly, effectively, without causing psychological and physical trauma. This kind of training is not only paid, but also completely free, available to everyone interested. The programs are supported by special funds, since in many ways they help shape a healthy future for the nation.

Most often, psychological training against violence for parents of schoolchildren is necessary for those whose children study poorly, are disobedient in everyday life, or damage property at home. Such actions become the cause of an uncontrollable outburst of anger, while the older generation simply cannot figure out how else to influence the child other than physically punishing him. An additional burden on the child’s psyche is created by the fact that violence surrounds the streets, at school, and is broadcast through media sources. All this together causes irreversible consequences. By attending specialized trainings, you can learn to behave in the most civilized manner, so that the child grows up well-mannered and his psyche is healthy.

What do I want?

As part of psychological training, the specialist conducting the event tries to find out what the desires and aspirations of all seminar visitors are. Particular attention is paid to what people expect from group work, but at the same time it is important to assess what the older generation expects from the younger generation. To simplify the formulation of hopes and plans, you can put all your assumptions and thoughts on this topic in writing. Often, the specialist conducting the event chooses a friendly game form of summarizing all the information into a single table. In the future, you can use these notes as a guide, reminding yourself why you are attending the seminar and what the benefits of attending it should be.

Features of group work

Within the framework of psychological trainings for parents, one can see that different people have unique individual ideas about the family. For example, some cut out the sun from paper to depict the mother, and mark all the children with stars surrounding the celestial body. Others develop associations with the forest, animals and birds. By observing the performance, a psychologist can guess what kind of communication between family members, and sometimes immediately understand what relationship problems there may be.

As part of psychological training for parents, special emphasis is placed on group work. The seminars are designed to ensure that all participants learn to work collaboratively with others, with each step being clearly regulated. A productive meeting is possible if rules are established and followed. The psychologist conducting the training is responsible for their formulation. Often, a specialist invites the group to set the rules themselves, while the speaker sets a template that can be changed at its discretion.

Problems: versatile

One of the topics of psychological training for parents is the relationship between representatives of the older generation. Often they don’t talk about this at all when considering family problems. Relationships between parents deteriorate under the influence of everyday problems; over the years, people get used to each other and even get tired of constant interaction. Age-related changes and the burden of responsibility, various difficulties create a dysfunctional atmosphere in which previously strong feelings gradually weaken and die. Specialized training aimed at maintaining healthy family relationships allows you to preserve the union and remember how happy the couple was when they first became one. A qualified specialist will remind you why two people chose each other and will help revive former love.

There are many methods and ways to restore lost tenderness and warm relationships. It is necessary to remember that loved ones need love and care, and consultation with a specialist, specialized training, during which different situations and interaction patterns are worked out, will improve the quality of everyday life.